Dance. Now I really hate this word. So much things had happened recently and I just can't put them all in words here. All I gotta say is that I'm taking a long break for dancing. Had enough of fights, hatred and criticism. I guess it's about time I must stop dancing with my group. Dancing with you guys will only make me feel worse about myself. U guys always made fun of me, made jokes about me and all I did was to pretend that it was just a joke and I don't feel anything. Truth is, I am really hurt by the things u guys has said. I know, I'm fat and I'm slow in learning steps but I thought the reason of having a group is to help one another. But in this group, I don't really see that. U guys think more of urself than ur group members. Sometimes I really admire other groups. They are just so united. Their group is like a family, everyone is so close to each other and they all help each other too. The example would be Karmasutra. I really like their bonding between every member in the group.
Seriously, I owe to this friend of mine who is an experienced dancer for giving me confidence and faith for the Danceworks. In fact, thanks to him, I had kinda change my attitude. I've been less lazy in practice and etc. And my group did nothing to help me. I still remember eh the day where I wanted to change my attitude and want to be a better dancer, I kindly asked one of my group member to show me some steps I didnt knew cos I know I didnt concentrate when the steps were taught previously. What my group member said was, '' OH I thought you know the steps?? Learn yourself ar!'' Then my leader adds on. '' See, you only got urself to blame for not concentrating last time''. I was like GOSH, I am trying to change myself to be better and u guys dont even wana help me??? Eversince on that day, I realised that I only have myself to rely on.
And it's really sad that the ones who gave me the moral support to dance was no one in my group, but others from other group. The only one yang support me in my group pun is only Suhaila. They gave me advices and etc. and I'm really thankful coz I really need that after so much demoralizations from my very own group. And I hate it eh bila korang asyik cakap Suhaila gemuk, gemuk, gemuk. You are not helping her. You guys are just demoralizing her. I understand the feeling damn fucking well.
So I bet that you guys will be happy now that I'm not dancing. Lagipun, my existence in this group will hinder the group's progress kan?? This post is not a hatred post or anything. I just wana let my feelings out. U guys are still my frenss. All the best The-Exo!!! I will still be there to support u guys!
And to my leader, sorry that I'm ur biggest failure in the group.............
